4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
