It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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