What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize