So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
