my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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