I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
