Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
His nipple licking is glorious
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