that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
