Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
