Me too!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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