he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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