Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
