Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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