Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
