I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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