i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
