Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
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