he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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