True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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