Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
