i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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