hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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