At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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