You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
