After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
