I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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