: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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