We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
