ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
