69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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