She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize