Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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