And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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