We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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