You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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