so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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