So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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