I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
