This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You have to summon your inner elephant
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
