I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
