just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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