somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
