Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
