would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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