I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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