physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
