You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize