I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
