Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
