So drunk its hurt
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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