It's Friday. Sex?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
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just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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