the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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