Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
