What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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