I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
